The Problem with Being Christian — Dennis Asiimwe’s Notes

Dennis Asiimwe
2 min readJun 19, 2022


I came across a poem that summarized for me in simple, easy, exquisite lines, some sentiments I have always been aching to share. I am not sure who the author of the poem is (and since I have never been a prolific or effective poet, my envy for this genre and his/her easy style is something you can use to prop up a building).

Anyway, I am running my mouth (and making a mockery of my claims about ‘writer’s block’).

Here’s the poem…

I was shocked, confused, bewildered

As I entered Heaven’s door,

Not by the beauty of it all,

Nor the lights or its décor.

But it was the folks in Heaven

Who made me sputter and gasp —

The thieves, the liars, the sinners,

The alcoholics and the trash.

There stood the kid from seventh grade

Who swiped my lunch money twice.

Next to him was my old neighbor

Who never said anything nice.

Bob, who I always thought

Was rotting away in hell,

Was sitting pretty on cloud nine,

Looking incredibly well.

I nudged Jesus, ‘What’s the deal?

I would love to hear Your take.

How’d all these sinners get up here?

God must’ve made a mistake.

‘And why is everyone so quiet,

So somber — give me a clue.’

‘Hush, child,’ He said,

‘they’re all in shock.

No one thought they’d be seeing you.’

Epilogue: If anyone thought punchlines ended on earth, they might want to give that thought a going over. While the atheists will have fun with this one, they will (rather obviously) be missing the point. Oh, and in case you are wondering, I am not atheist. I belong to a religion called ‘What the heck is going on???!!!!’ .



Dennis Asiimwe

Pianist. Communications Specialist. Event Manager. Writer. Human...